My dear friends,

After awhile, here I come again. This time I wanna write something different. Something unusual. I want to talk about eyes.

I don't know what exactly trigger me to write about this topic. Maybe it sound boring and not very interesting for most of us but wait.. We don't know yet until we figure it out.

Well, it's all about my life. The gift that Allah gave me is my eyes. Since the heart can see what the eyes do not, I see people with great love, sometimes tough love. I see the greatness in people that they long ago stopped dreaming about. I see people's hearts. But I am not really sure whether I can go through with all of these or not at all huh. Well, the best thing is just pray to Allah right? Of course, He is the absolute Al-Mighty.

Sometimes, I don't even understand wt. my life. Looks normal but erratic. Complicated. Huhu..


Dec 24, 2010. Wednesday. 2017.

*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

~

It's a human sign
When things go wrong
When the scent of her lingers
And temptation's strong
Into the boundary
Of each married man
Sweet deceit comes calling
And negativity lands
Cold cold heart
Hard done by you
Some things look better baby
Just passing through

And it's no sacrifice
Just a simple word
It's two hearts living
In two separate worlds

But it's no sacrifice
No sacrifice
It's no sacrifice at all

Mutual misunderstanding
After the fact
Sensitivity builds a prison
In the final act
We lose direction
No stone unturned
No tears to damn you
When jealousy burns


Wednesday, Oct 11, 2010. 1816.
*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

*&*&*&*

Dahan yang patah tiada bersambung lagi,
Hatiku pasrah dalam mencari mimpi yg indah,
Getar hatiku serta kepayahanku dalam mengungkapkannya,
Hanya kau saja sudi memahaminya,
Lantas setiaku kini hanya satu,

...Dan kasihku bukanlah beribu...

Biar bercerai badan... jasad atau pun nyawa...

Aku tetap kan setia ♥ ♥ ♥



*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Hanya Satu Persinggahan


Di sini kasih pernah berbunga
Tiada harum tiada warna
Di sini cinta pernah membara
Tanpa bahang dan tanpa apinya
Begini yang ku rasa
Hidup kita berdua

Di sini langit mendung selalu
Tiada cahaya menyinariku
Di sini aku tiada berdaya
Mengikut kata tanpa bicara
Kerana engkau tahu
Aku tidak sepadan denganmu

Hubungan kita suatu persinggahan
Bukan pengabadian yang rela
Pemergianku oh kerana terpaksa
Demi hidup yang lebih sempurna
Anggaplah kehadiranku
Hanya satu persinggahan
Aku tidak menjanjikan
Mahligai impian
Sebagaimana kau harapkan

Biarlah jauh dari pandangan
Daripada dekat penuh seksa
Biar berduka biar melara
Dari sengketa sepanjang masa
Janganlah engkau harapkan
Ku menghambakan diri

Nanti kau tahu ertinya sepi
Bagaikan pisau menghiris api
Nanti kau tahu ertinya rindu
Bagai tertusuk duri sembilu
Batin akan tersiksa
Jasad pasti merana


*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

@**@**@

Salam sejahtera,

Hi, selamat bertemu kembali di ruangan ini setelah agak lama menyepi dari dunia blogging. Bukan niat utk berhenti jauh sekali utk bersara, cuma ruang waktu yg agak terbatas oleh dek kesibukan lambakan kerja yg kian bertambah...

Hari ni 03 November 2010. Sedar atau tidak, terasa cepatnya masa berlalu. Pejam celik pejam celik dah 11 bulan sy berada kat sini. 11 bulan kat sini bermakna da 13 bulan la saya meninggalkan Boustead Naval Shipyard kat Lumut, Perak. Sepanjang tempoh itu terlalu byk kenangan serta memori suka duka yg terakam dalam memori ini. Happy moments, sad moments, bitter moments... Ah, indahnya kehidupan ini. Sukar utk digambarkan dgn kata2. Ya, warna warni kehidupan ini terlalu sukar utk diungkapkan.

Kalau mula-mula datang sini dulu, saya tidak terlalu sibuk, malah selalu bosan pula. Hari-hari rasa ingin pulang ke pangkuan mak ayah saja. Setiap masa rasa ingin lebih untuk keluarga. Tapi lepas hampir setahun, saya mulakan entri dengan sibuk. Sibuk yg datang dgn sendiri dan juga sibuk yg dicari2. Ya, saya sudah ada perkara di sini untuk memadam bosan yang selalu melanda.

Sibuk tentang apa? Kerja? Mungkin ya mungkin juga tidak. Sibuk mengejar harta dan wang. Mungkin jugak sebab sy sudah mula agak serasi dgn tempat ini. Saya sudah mula untuk menyayangi tempat ini. Namun tidak bermakna saya sudah lupa akan kampung halaman. Saya masih ingat tempat saya dilahirkan dan dibesarkan. Saya mahu pulang. Kali terakhir sy pulang kira2 tiga bulan lepas. Tiga bulan di tempat orang sudah terlalu lama. Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang kan. InsyaAllah, raya haji ni sy akan pulang ke kampung...

Sekian dulu, jumpa lagi di ruangan akan datang.



0900. Wednesday, Nov 03. 2010.
*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

*&*&*&*


After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.

Bersabarlah, sekiranya kalian kat luar sana pun senasib jgak dgnku, huhu3...(yeah, i truly mean it)...


I write this based on my real experience and through my observation along my 27 years old I am.


*******
 Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Regardless what people going to say, I am still wanna be myself with my own uniqueness of character & behavior. I don't want to change to be like someone else just to be good to the eye for certain people; entrapping in someone entity is not part of my life.

Yes, absolutely I am proud to be myself. Thanks the Almighty Allah who created me. You can take something good from other as your guideline or lesson, but is not necessarily mean you need to be like them ~ to be exactly like them. Follow their way doesn't guarantee you will success in your life, in your journey...

Frankly & honestly speaking, I am always believe, I still can success & survive with my own way. That's my philosophy of life since a decade ago. I might start a bit late but I will stay last longer. Now I am almost fully fledged with my own skill and ability to withstand whatever comes in front of me. Day by day, I am getting stronger and even more strong. There is a lot of up and down in front of us before we can success in something we do, so we always need to be persistence & perseverance in our life. 

*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Just another product from Photoshop CS5. Happy weekend...

Btw, ada sape2 nk cari rakan partner utk buat biz? Ak sbnrnya tgh mencari rakan utk buat biz partner ni. Kalau ada sape2 yg tgh cari partner gk, ak dgn besar hatinya sudi menawarkan diri.., tp kena tgok dulu la jenis biz apa yg nak buat...gaji RM2k lebih xrok la nak duk sini kak bang oi...tambah2 lg kalau jenis yg xpandai nak berjimat supo ak ni...nampak gayanya kena cari bini hok pandai plan financial ni...

Okla, jumpa lagi len kali. Aku nkg Sogo jap ni,... nak usha2 baju & seluar utk wat raya nnti...dgr katanya hari ni ada sale sempena warehouse stock clearance kat sana...3 days jek, besok last day...so ada sape2 yg nkg gk, jom ar kt pakat ramai2 pergi...,

Alrite guys, jumpa korang semua kat sana nantilah...


Chaw dulu...


ps//: aduh habis lagi duit ak kali ni..dahler bulan ni saja da lebih rm2k habis utk shopping & entertainment saja...ni nakg shopping lgi ni...xhabis2 lg gn shopping...bleh nazak ak kalo lguni...


Saturday. July 17, 2010. 1007.
*******
 Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

*&*&*&*

Thanks God. For the long time since I was in my last semester, sometimes in July 2008, I've dreamed to have it my own one day comes and now God blessed me. After all syukur alhamdulillah... Really syukur.

Costing me RM8500 doesn't and will never makes me regret (hopefully lah). I know it might be sound crazy or absurd to some people; spending more than normal price while you can get cheaper with/ when the function is not really big deal for the time being but I do believe & always convince myself that there is something beyond my expectation & knowledge that necessitates me to have it one. Now I can play almost every single games in the market and render every single heavy loaded program that is hardly to run on a normal/ standard computer...yeah, my work is becoming more efficient & easy...

Intel Core i7, 6GB DDR3 Hi Performance of RAM, 650GB SSD, Blu Ray Disk, 1GB 5700 HD ATi Radeon Graphic Card makes mine is truly the king if not among my friends, especially one-deen...now I beat you bro...hehe...


Brilliantly & blazingly fast,

With faster, intelligent, multi-core technology that applies processing power where it's needed most, Intel® Core™ i7 processors deliver an incredible breakthrough in PC performance. They are the best desktop processor family on the planet.

You'll multitask applications faster and unleash incredible digital media creation. And you'll experience maximum performance for everything you do, thanks to the combination of Intel® Turbo Boost technology² and Intel® Hyper-Threading technology (Intel® HT technology)³, which maximizes performance to match your workload.


Thursday. July 15, 2010. 0229.
*******
 Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

1 Month Unlimited Downloading
(100Gb Hot/Direct Linking)
RM39
***

6 Months Unlimited Downloading
600Gb Hot/Direct Linking
RM119
***

1 Year Unlimited Downloading
1200Gb Hot/Direct Linking
RM200
***

Free abundance of links to visit for downloading movies, animes, videos, songs, softwares and so on...

Interested pls e-mail to mkfadzli@ovi.com or simply SMS me at 019-3553552/017-9407750

ps:// megaupload & rapidshare will be posting soon...


*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Salam sejahtera,



Pagi ini satu lagi pertemuan antara dua gergasi bola sepak dunia bakal berlaku, pertemuan untuk menjulang mahkota kejuaraan bola sepak dunia. Indeed it is a final clash for world cup 2010. Spain and the Netherlands are preparing to contest the World Cup final in Johannesburg, South Africa... the biggest game in the footballing history of both countries and this morning will explain everything. Who will be a winner. Either Spain or Netherlands, winner will be a legacy in the world cup history.

For me, kedua-dua negara mempunyai kelebihan tersendiri untuk memenangi perlawanan pagi ini. Mereka juga mempunyai penyudah berbisa yang amat digeruni. Kini mereka bertanding untuk menjadi pemilik kasut emas.

Belanda dan Sepanyol memaparkan pencapaian cemerlang dalam kejohanan terhebat ini termasuk menyingkir pasukan pilihan seperti Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay dan Jerman. Dari sejarah kedua-dua negara pernah bertemu lapan kali dan Belanda menang empat kali.

Anyway ak support Belanda kali ni and ak meramalkan Belanda akan membuat kejutan 1-0 menang malam ni. Sama2lah kt meyaksikannya lebih kurang 2 jam lg dari skang...


lambatnya rasa masa bergerak. butir mata ni rasa macam dah nak tersembol keluar da. Ngantuk sbb hari ni seharian kuar. Penat beb. Kopi pulak da kehabisan stok. Td kuar pun sengaja xbeli sbb ingatkan ada lagi. Kalau esok xkeje xpe gk...Ni xtau lagi la mcmna besok. Alahai world cup punya pasal.


Monday, July 12, 2010. 0042.
*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Salam ukhuwwah fillah, apa khabar semua? smg kalian semua dlm keadaan baik dan sihat sejahtera...

Sungguh elok cuaca hari ni. Kat luar tu mentari menyinar terang benderang. Actually ak tgh kebosanan ni. Rasa bosan yg teramat. Xtau nak buat apa hari ni. Smlm dahla xtido, ni pun leh tido kejap je pastu terus tersedar. Malam ni nk kena berjaga lg...final world cup, xkan xtgok kot...benda 4 thn sekali. Badan sbnarnya masih lg penat & kelesuan, tp ntah rasa rugi kalau tido hujung2 minggu ni. Esok da nk kena keje balik. Rasa kejap je cuti. Bila la agaknya ak dpt buat keje yg ak suka...

Kalau nak kuarpn xtau nakgi mana and dgn sape...Si apih lak asyik bz dgn outstation, si adam xleh nk harap, si khalis duk jauh... lan pulak sibuk dgn awek dia... ayyo... nak ajak sape ni...ak sbnrnya xramai member kat shah alam ni...kawan2 masa belaja kat uia dulu dah meresap ntah kemana da...hampir semuanya da lost contact, kalau ada pun tinggal yg da kawin saja...tinggallah ak yg masih lg bujang ni...masa ni lah rasa sunyi. Well, nampak gayanya terpaksa ajak si kamal lagi la jwbnya. Nak ajak awek, awek pulak xde...bkn xnak cari tp sbb xdibenarkan oleh syarak...hmmm, al-fadhil ustaz al-fadzli bertazkirah...hehe...nk baca blog org pn rsa xde mood...xkan nk duk terperap dlm bilik je hujung minggu ni...arggghh..

Bleh sape2 tlg bg idea nk buat apa hujung minggu ni. Xkan nk tido je kot.

1007, Sunday, July 11, 2010.
*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Salam & selamat pg,

Jam skang dah kul 5.17 pg. Berjaga sbb nk tgok bola...

Actually ak xtau nk post apa kat sini pg ni. Just nak ngarut2 je sementara masuk waktu subuh. Kalau tido confirm subuh terlepas. Sanggup bersengkang mata tanpa bantuan kopi pekat malam ni utk tgok team feveret ak, Germany main pg ni. Mmg puas hati and berbaloi gkla sbb Germany menang 3-2...padan muka Uruguay. Ak xsuka Uruguay. Ak start jd anti Uruguay ni sejak Uruguay main tipu masa lawan Ghana tempoh hari, mmg sah2 dh sorang mamak tu tahan bola dgn tgn tp ntah mcmna referee bleh xnampak, rabun kot...emo lak ak pg ni...padahal both Ghana & Uruguay xde kena mengena pun dgn ak...huhu.

***

Actually ak rsa xtenang hati skang ni. Xtau knp selalu je mood swings lately. Kalau p'puan tu maybe sbb dtg period, tp kalau lelaki sbb apa ya? Maybe sbb da lama xbaca Quran kot. Niat selalu saja nak baca tp selalu xjadi...Rasa macam2 masalah dtg skang ni. Masalah dgn tmp keje la...bengang dgn sekor team leader ni...serius ak benci sgt2...berlagak. Nama je team leader, tp keje berpasukan xde langsung...koya la. Kalu tino tu bleh layan molek, tp kalu ak tnya mapuh nk jawab. Mmg ak tekad doh, tu la last ak tnya dia. Masalah dgn si H pun ada gk...boikot benar kali ni. Aku call xjwb, sms xreply... yelah pasal kes hari tu la ni. Ak saja je nk test dia. Nk tgok apa respond dia. Tp dia ingat ak tipu dia so merajuk ke apa ak xtau la skang ni... Maybe sbb xberkat kot. Mana tk, subuh loni da seminggu da xsemyg ikut waktu. Bkn xsedar. Mmg sedar dh tp berat a.k.a malas nk bangun and kalau bgn pun, just bgn utk matikan alarm saja pstu sambung tdo balik. Kritikal benar dh ak ni kan. Xleh nk dibiarkan lguni benda akan jd makin parah...

***

Well, sometimes I wonder if other people around me have mood swings like mine. Sometimes, I just dislike everyone I see, especially those I see the most often. Sometimes I wonder what my life is beyond working, playing games, watching movies and eating kfc or mcd. Sometimes I wonder if the world is so screwed up in many ways because people get so bogged down by the one focus in their life, that they don't know what to do if that focus is no longer there. For instance, not knowing what to do if I don't have to work anymore. Have my identity become this focus? This profession that I am going to enter? You know guys, my dream since I was a childhood, I wanna be a professional engineer one day, but who knows...God destined everything, Qada & Qadar....yeah you're correct Sal, one of my friend, everything changes with time. Having basic background in engineering but pursuit in banking arena is something different. I dont have any choice but to take it whatever I got for the sake of my future & my survival. Luckily I am a fast learner, easy to catch up new lessons...hehe, poyo but that is a truth..:). But, you know seriously I am telling you as time goes by, my basic engineering skill will fade away/ blunt in anyway also with time. That's what I am really worry nowadays. Oh, God... tp apa2 pun ak tetap bersyukur sbb kira ak masih lagi bernasib baik kalau nak dibandingkan dgn ramai lg kat luar sana yg masih mencari2 atau tercari2 lagi pekerjaan yg sesuai sampai skang ni...

Sentimental la pulak pg2 ni...huhu. Ntahlah... Oklah, sambung len kali la pulak. Bye.



*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

For the third time in seven years, the world has a new richest man. His name is Jen Mc'Arthur D'Arkilili (pic) from Burundi, (one part of Africa country). He took over the world top ranking Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft Corp. by 7 trillion USD dollar. Subhanallah.

Ever wonder, what makes he so rich? According to the Forbes magazine, July 1, 2010
he just owns a hectare of banana plant in his country. Sound absurd and unbelievable isn't it? But believe me nothing is impossible in this world.

Allahu Akbar...


*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Look, he wears a new spectacles. I bought for him last night at Mid Valley Megamall for his birthday...hehe. Very charming, isn't?


*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Today, July 1, 2010.

Salam sejahtera,

Hari ni ak cuti. apply annual leave for 3 days semata2 nkg Lost World of Tambun, theme park yg ala2 kat sunway pyramid tu gn member2 lama masa kat cherating dulu...xsabar nak jumpa budak2 tu semua...kira kawan sekamcing la katakan, eh yeke...

lgpun ni first time ak minta cuti tahunan...yelah, badan pun nak jgk rehat...asyik keje straight hours je tiap2 hari...even hari sabtu ahad pn kena keje...first time dlm sejarah ak, keje kat sini OT pn kena paksa buat...yelah mmg dibayar tp kena paksalah...

pernah ak xdtg OT suatu ketika dulu, ingat ke xde masalah rupa2nya dtg balik keje hari isnin tu terus kena panggil masuk bilik bos...kena brainwash..siap ada interview lg...interview after come to work kalau xsilap lah masa tu...huh...tu pun ak kira bernasib baik jugaklah sbb ada member ak yg dpt dgn team leader lain siap kena bg warning letter da...fuh...sound terrible isn't it?...

Berbalik cerita ke lost world ni actually da lama kitaorg plan nkg...tp selalu saja xberkesempatan...idea asal nak bercuti kat mana2 pulau dlm semenanjung malaysia ni, tp last2 dpt idea nkg lost world, kalau korang nk tahu ni sbnarnya idea si khalis yg nak sgt ke sana...tp xkisahlah...janji dpt bercuti...semuanya dia yg uruskan, dari tempah penginapan kat sana dgn aktiviti semasa kat sana ktorg just pass kat dia je...dgrnya sewa hotel 3 hari 2 malam...tp xgtau lak hotel apa...bila ditanya katanya nk buat surprise...ah lantaklah...janji jgn spoil ak nyer annual leave ni sudahlah...

esok pg ak gerak pergi umah khalis dulu...ajis pulak dijangka sampai dlm kul 10 or 11 mcmtulah dari kuantan...pastu terus gerak ke sana...check in hotel lak kul 3ptg...

hm,, apa lagi ye...rasanya dah xde lg kot...

well, oklah dulu, setakat ni dululah update utk kali ni...

ada masa ak update lgi...

alrite ya,

bye.



*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Semalam ak tertengok satu cite, hehe tertengok bkn sengaja tgok.... cite ni xdelah baru & xdelah lama sgtpun...kalau tgk production year tu tahun 2008 officially release.

Cite ni biasa je...tp ada satu babak ak rasa kisah yg terjadi kat pelakon utama tu sama macam yg aku alami... seorang anak yg agak penyayang...sanggup berkorban utk keluarga...tetiba saja air mata ak berlinangan...huhu..sentimental bro

tersentuh sungguh ak dgn plot tu...antara babak2 yg menyayat hati...terasa sgt pilu... tetiba saja teringat kat mak kat kampung...ah Tuhan, rasa nk sgt balik malam tu jugak...

yelah, semua org deserve yg terbaik utk diri sendiri tp xsemua org bernasib baik...ujian, halangan serta dugaan selalu dtg menghalangi perjalanan kita...untuk berjaya bukannya mudah...utk gagal pulak bukannya susah...hanya berkat kesabaran yg boleh memastikan kt terus survive...

Ya Allah,

Sampai bilakah segala penderitaan ini akan berakhir...

sungguh aku katakan,

ak xhepi skang ni dgn life ak skang ni...oh Tuhan

Di manakah ketenangan serta kebahagian yg kucari selama ini..


***

In restless dreams I went and returned

With abundance of hopes and dreams

That never shows up

But I keep waiting and waiting

until I found a shine in the field of darkness ...


from poet: McArthur D'Artright, 1978.


***

Rasa nak balik kampung..

Ya Allah andai aku diberi peluang, nak je ak balik and keje kat kg...

ntah apa2 da...td rasa nak taip blog...tp tetiba saja mati akal...xtau nak tulis apa...oklah, gudnite.


2328, Wednesday. June 30.2010.

*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Salam sejahtera,


Semalam berjalan sakan dgn Mr. Kamal.

Kuar pagi dari kul 11 pagi sampai kul 12 tgh malam, dari Mid Valley Megamall ke Jusco Bukit Raja ke Jusco Bukit Tinggi Klang ke Sunway Pyramid and last at uptown Shah alam...sungguh memenatkan... paha rasa nak tercabut..

Tp mmg puah ati sbb dpt bare2 yg dicari...Thank ma, temankan ak.. almaklumla xdok saing lain dh nk ajak wat teman..

Hehe...

Tp yg kureng skit lepah tolak g tolak mari, ada la dkt dgn RM1k lebih habis semalam bershopping...

Lebih dari ore tino aku ni..

Oh, kalau lguni la, bila la agaknya boleh bini...ore lain semua bini belaka dh...takut jgk kdg2 bila difikir2kan ttg ni...

Gaji hok dapat, habis gitu jah...

Boros, boros, boros...

Ye, boros sungguh...

Bare2 semua nak hok branded, quality, prestige and..bla2..bla2..

Xmain hok local2 ni...semuanya nak hok import..

Ikut mu la lie, kalu gaji mu RM3-4k sbln xpo. Bazir sungguh. Ak no comment. kata Mr. K

Aduh..

Pahni kete hok tempah pulak sampai...

Ayo, pressure nya rasa nak cari duit..

Gaji setakat cukup utk pero diri sendiri sore jah...

Buntu...

Ya Allah, tlgla aku tunjukkan jalan penyelesain dari kebuntuan ini.


1139. June 27, 2010.

*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Car loan promotion... any car, any bank...

***

Free Gift:

 Hand phone Nokia 1209 (Full Original Set)
 Nokia in-car Charger
 Tinted Voucher RM300
 Steering Lock
 Touch & Go Card
 Car Shampoo
 Silver Front Sun Shade
 Car Polish & Tyre Wax
 Car Air Freshener
 CD + Card Holder
 First Aid-kit
 Wiper Cleaner
 Shell Helix Ultra (just plus RM130)

***

- No booking payment (until loan was confirmed)
- No need 2 do anything. Just prepare the required documents & wait for the car.
- Even loan agreement will be deliver to you to sign.
- The car will be personally delivered to you.


***

Required documents:
- Copy of IC & Driving Licence (both side)
- Payslip of 3 months (or at least 1 month)
- 3 month bank statement show the salary is credited.

The rest, just leave it to me...

Interested? Please call me

019-2061488

or just click link below to email to me... (just put the cursor below this sentence)

Google Mail


*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Dear A,

Hopefully while I am posting this blog, you're in a very good condition.

Well,

I just want to express my heart feeling. Neither to you nor to anybody else. Just want to say something about my feeling right now.

Hm,

For the first time I ask you a favor how to get a job at HQ (now I am working at Maybank), you did help me something surpassed my expectation, beyond my normal prediction....you are not even help me telling just like others but u provide me the link to get through it directly...wow, very astonishing indeed.

Then from that time, I try to get to know more about u...

I asked ur contact number and again u told me that ur number is only for me...what a surprised...that moment I was thinking I was a lucky man...I am so happy. my mood to work that day is double and even triple...

Ur kindness and the way you treat me makes me really want to get to know more about u...

and honestly I want to get closer to u...yeah, of course we should start as a friend...

but, as time goes by, I see a difference...

a difference coming from you... I wonder WHY? What is wrong with me... I just wanna be a friend with u..thats all...if not, at least...

I tried not to think negative... but who am I to be like that? I am not a perfect guy...

you know, something is "unpredictable" happened...

confused, frustrated and agitated...

completely out of my expectation at all..

****

Dear A,

First time I tried to call u, you said, you're not pleasant to talk to me...oh gosh...I don't want to be such a bothersome, troublesome or burden to you & anybody else...but just be rileks...maybe you need more time...but the word 'unpleasant" I kept tight in my mind.

Second time I tried to chat with u using IM (after u refused to talk to me), u said your brother is using PC...then it's okay...I can accept it..I keep waiting that night...then, after a sudden, u sms me said that you had a discussion with your brother...very serious matter perhaps I thought....yeah probably a full night discussion...... no word of sorry I heard or got from you.. am I worthless to u? Oh God, please....NO

It's still okay for me...but that time honestly speaking I told you, my feeling starting to fade away towards you....

and for the third time (last time indeed), whenever I tried to ask u to go out this weekend (just wanna see ur respond) and as expected, again u said u already have a plan this weekend...

I don't know whether this is true or just a created reason...but...the reason just like many others (as being told from my experienced friend he said "" besanya kalau p'puan tu bg alasan mcmtu mmg dia dah ada @ xsuka kat ko)....almaklumlah kita ni xbiasa...so kena consult lah org yg berpengalaman....such an unlucky I am.

but, I am still be cool...pretend to be positive...

because, I don't simply want to jump to conclusion just like that... I've tried...

but, obviously I HAD failed... (I can't use the word have anymore...)

perhaps, you're so expensive for people like me..

I cannot bear to afford you..

yeah, like other normal guy out there, I like the expensive girl...but not too expensive.

but you are so expensive to me..


*****

Then,

After mulling it again and again...

I think

I should not bother you anymore... maybe I am not suit to you...

I don't want to be such a troublesome, bothersome to you...

Be pleasant as you wanna be as before...

Because, I am truly unpleasant man to you....

Thanks a lot..

Bye A.



0241, May 20, 2010.

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Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Salam sejahtera dan selamat malam,

Kat sini ak saja nak kongsikan satu benda dgn korang semua. Semalam masa tgh surfing tenet cari keje kosong, ak ada terjumpa pic lawak dalam satu website ni (tp lupa nak copy address website tu). Sekali tgk gambar ni mmg nampak macam real, tp sebenarnya cuma blanket tido je. Hehe mmg lawak btol.. Ni kalau tersilap hari bulan ak rasa boleh terkena tembak kalau bawa masuk hutan camping kat sana., xpun boleh kena baham kat beruang betul ni. Hmm, manusia ni kekadang kan terlalu creative. Tp apapun mmg ak salute la kat org yg produce idea ni. He, mcm2la zaman sekarang ni kan. Cuba korang semua tgok pic...

Hehe, bijak sungguh kan idea ni. Kalau ada jual kat malaysia ni mmg confirm ak nak beli...tp hrp2la xdpt bala dah lah...huhu.


Friday, July 16, 2010. 0226.
*******
 Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

If only I could turn back time (parang kanta katanya dalam bahasa Tagalog), I may probably have taken a 2nd thought in accepting MMU's and BMA offer... But then, I might not. Everything seemed to happen so fast... so soon...Sungguh minat aku sebenarnya ke arah komputer and making bussiness, not engineering..But why I'm here. Yes of course I have faith that God is the one shaping my future.


It's just that... I need some friends here...now... :' (kawan2 dalam coz aku semuanya xberapa friendly...ishk2...

This post is specially dedicated to my ex,

I will start my first entry after a long time remain silent by sharing with u all guys the sad and unforgettable memories in my life with my love (now she is my ex). She is very special. Simple, clever, caring but quite manja...(dont know the meaning in english..huhu)...skit2 nk nanges je. Tp xkisah la kan. I met her sometime in July or August last year somewhere in undisclosed place...cannot g tau la kat mana..sori la ye ek.

She is my first love even before this I have a lot of fan (poyo la plak), bukan nk berlagak, tp itulah hakikatnya...nk kata hensem, xdelah hensem sgt pn....tp maybe pandai guna ayat la kot...hehe...anyway nak buat mcmna benda dah xjd...rasa sedih la jugak.


***

I know she still hurts. I don't know how long it will takes to heal her wound, but I do know she will never comes back to me anymore in anyway. I know I have done a lot of mistakes and miserable to her since I am with her, and I do owe up all of my mistakes. You know, honestly I always hope that one day she will apologize me and give me one more chance to redeem my mistake but this is seems very far to grab it. She suffers a lot because of me. I left her a very deep wound that is not easily to heal. I am very bad and terrible. So, the only way is to let her go with calmly from my life. Sound cruel isn't but that the only the best way I can do for her to not to hurt her anymore. Perhaps I am not the right person for her.

Honestly, I felt so down, but feeling down is not good for both of us either. What is past is past. That time has gone. I believe the life must goes on. The journey must be continued. Let it be one part of our history in our mind. I really hope that we can still contact each other even we are now just a friend. That is enough for me.

I can't be down like this forever. I have to get up and struggle for my life. Finally, I hope she will also success and get what is she dream for in her life.

Wa,

please forgive me...

and thanks for everything.

Thank you.




*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Salam sejahtera,

Hi to all of u. Welcome back and nice to meet u all again. Hopefully u all are in a very good condition.

My dearest friends,

After a long time there is no update from me at all, now I am coming back. If I am not mistaken my last update was last year, 21 Dec 2009 definitely. Since then there is nothing from me. Keeping silent doesn't mean that I am retire from writing.

I was very busy with my work at workplace and outstation. Being such a R&D engineer at a big and multinational company is very challenging. Life is so hectic. Every time needs to rush. Every job needs to speed up with all possible haste with a very tip-top quality product. Sound very challenging isn't it? There is no time to loiter around and even get some relaxation. Everything must be completed before the due date. The job keep coming. While the one still in progress, another job is waiting and pending. FYI guy, I have two workplace, Perak and Selangor. Sometimes, I have to travel from Perak and Selangor twice a day. Very tired but quite interesting. Wanna know why? Hehe. I will tell u all later.

Well, actually there are a lot of things happened to me that I would sincerely like to share with all of u all guys. But in this post, I am not really ready yet to share all of these. Just to inform u all that I am now back.

Ok, guys...see u later in the next post. Honest from me, Bandicruz San.

0945, Sunday April 04, 2010.


*******
Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

Welcome to Shah Alam.

Welcome to blogging.

Its has been awhile after I moved here from a my old workplace at Lumut, Perak.

Catch you soon in another opportunity...

Keep in touch.


*******Ardour of Admiration (AoA)

What is love?

Love is definitely essential in our life. How much we appreciate love in our life? What can we get from love?

Here, I will show you what LOVE is.


Lucky;

Being lucky as a Muslim. Learn the meaning of love in Islam is beautiful. I love Allah, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), my parents, family and all my Muslim sisters and brothers.

Obey;

Obey the rules in Al-Quran and As-Sunnah, we will surely get the perfect blissful life. There are many things that I learnt in Al-Quran and As-Sunnah, including love. As we know, Islam is a religion that loves peace.

Vow;
Vowing that there is no god but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Only Allah is The One who we cannot forget. He is always watching us and always cares about us.

Effort;
Love is an effort to get the meaningful life. Always caring and being honest is a vital in love. We need to be caring and honest with our brothers and sisters in Islam and to all people all around the world.


credited to iluvislam.com

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Ardour of Admiration (AoA)