salam kawan,

29 Ogos 2008, 2217.


menatapi screen komputer just like ordinary days...tonight i'm alone, all of my roommates already went back to their kampung..,owh die, sorry i'm playing with ur computer...

tonight, not like previous night, still doesn't have anything to do...my head blank just like my friend's computer last couple weeks ago...blank....everything's only black screen...

Terfikir-fikir apakata watch movie, tak pun study ke..or even better sleep kalo dah xde kerja sgt...but everything seems not possible....then how's about reading Quran...oh ya, baca Quran...seingat aku dah lama xbaca Quran...that could be a great idea, but...feel lazy lah pulak...perangai sungguh...InsyaAllah malam esoklah. Confirm.

Sometimes life is so boring..always in dilemma situation...trust me, I'm not always happy with my life... being a student taking 24 credit hours in final year is very stressful, always drive me crazy...life is too hectic...schedule is very pack...nak concentrate on satu2 benda pun susah...byk benda nak kena buat and fikir...Sometime thinking jugak wanna be like others...enjoying or even relaxing...but nak buat guane,...that's my destiny and I have to accept the reality...huhu...but I do believe someday Allah can give me shiny in my life. That's what I hold for many years as my strength, my inspiration and my determination...

Nak tido...oh tidak..., night is too early to say gudnite...baru kul 10.30, erm...hei nak wat gape ni...pikiq benda ni boleh buat sakit kepale...ha malam ni kita menaip blog lah...ke guane pi?...beyeh dok...mmg dah lama rasanya nak update blog ni....cuma masanya saja tidak berapa berapa sesuai dan mengizinkan...almaklumlah sibuk...student life katakan...dan skang ni waktu cuti, bolehlah kot...err tp kan apa pulak isinya ye..

Erm, YES, i gotcha...menelusuri rentetan kehidupan ini pastinya menjadi modal utk malam ini..hehe..m2m..yes2..

Well, anything could be possible...then, let's blogging...sori die, numpe komp demo...malas nak on komp kawe...

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Kawanku, sedikit renungan buatmu...english kot...saja nak improve and sharpen my language skill...bukan nak action ok. Study kat UIA tp kalau xleh tulis and cakap english ni rasanya membazir masa. Useless. Terhina. Xde advantage. Baik belajar kat tmp lain. Dahlah kena extent semata2 nak belajar bahasa english...hmm mmg nasib badan sungguhla aku ni...huhu

Kawan, I just wanna tell you, a little bit reminder. Did you ever ponder, when you're gazing on the beautiful full moon on a cold yet heart-warming night, you would wanna tell someone about it. What you did, where you went, who you met, whatever happened or will happen to you, you would wanna tell it to someone. Be it your mum & dad, brothers or sisters, friends or lover(s). But I don't. You know why, that because....(silence words)...i'm different..nobody ever understand me...huhu..

People like to talk about themselves. They always have stories to tell. But not me, I'm a lousy storyteller. And I don't think what happens in my life are of any importance to others. Sometimes I regret it after telling my life stories to others (my roommate, actually)...xpatut aku cite pasal keburukan aku...but that's already past...big mistakes anyway..Coz I'd think it wasn't important at all. Blogging is excluded, though. Coz blogging is more like writing a diary and letting others read it on their own free will.

I'm actually a quiet person...senyap supo tunggul kayu reput je dlm kelas... Despite how some of you have known me as, I am so not a talkative guy. I could be one, but I'm naturally not one. I suck at storytelling, I'm naturally not good at talking, but I do able to talk about ideas and facts..that's because i like reaading Time mag..hehe. Even so, I would always prefer listening to talking. Sometimes I talk and tell only coz I feel the need to.

I enjoy looking at things. I enjoy listening to people. I hate people nagging at me, though. Huhu. Can't say I don't enjoy talking. I just don't feel like telling people about myself all of a sudden. I don't mind replying, responding and sharing in the means of talking. But I wouldn't prefer to start a conversation. You ask me and I shall answer kindly, it's always been that way to me. If you reach out your hand, I would gladly accept.

A couple of friends told me I wouldn't keep in touch with them if they didn't contact me first. I'm sorry. It's just me. But it doesn't mean I don't treasure you guys. I'm always glad if you guys keep in touch with me. And everytime you reach out for me, I'd definitely welcome you with my warmest heart...

bandicruz.

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Turning 24 this year...tua benar rasanya aku, ishk3...xhbs2 lg ngaji..huhu...big number and it's freaking the hell of me...easily amused...easily offended....self-claimed procrastinator...quite defensive....complicated...a talking machine....oooh, and frenz if you think you knew me, believe me you dont. tho, i express the inner and outer me in here but it is just the part of it... and i love to make friends ;))...even in reality very difficult to get one..

31 August and we will be celebrating the 51st Merdeka.

51 years since Malaysia had achieved independence from the British rule, what had we become? Better or worse?

Economically, the nation has moved forward from an agriculture to industrial and soon we would need to embrace global capitalism and global liberalization.

Politically, the Alliance party consisting of Umno-MCA-MIC coalition had remain in power albeit with a larger groupings. However, since March 2008, we are observing a paradigm shift to a two-party political system administration which should auger well for the people.

Technologically, in the last 51 years, the nation had evolved and transformed itself to meet the new global level of competency and capacity, though we could not be in the top echelon, though we weren't on par with the developed nations, however, we are not too far off the pace.

Socially, the nation ... alas, had remain divided, disintegrated and distrusting. What was the reason? What was the fault? Was there no solution? Was there no political will?

There was political will; there was solution; there were many attempts and many efforts made; there were many programmes and initiations, to promote and to integrate the social fabric.

But how is it that we are getting far more divided and disintegrated, and much more distrusting among the races? Aren't we all Malaysians which our forefather aspired when they sought Merdeka from the British?

The reason: Political hegemony; political domination; power, wealth and positions - greed, dishonesty and lust.

No researchers dared to penned an honest and factual thesis. Sedition and Article 153 is the tool used each time someone says something that is truthful and real. The truth cannot be said openly; it can only be whispered within each groupings and within your own four-walls. The political system is designed to ensure that racial disintegration, racial divide, political domination and political hegemony is the core objective of the power-that-be. Bulimic greed is the disease of the powerful. In the divide and rule ideology, it was necessary to sow distrust, disharmony and alienation of the people in order to continue to dominate and hold on to power. Power is freedom - freedom to rob, freedom to enrich, freedom to partake in luxuries and freedom to made the people slaves. That's the freedom we have.

Two more days and we would be celebrating freedom; this freedom we have had for the last 50 years.

Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka! The three calls by Tunku Abdul Rahman.